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511 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping Channels. She [/]

asked, 'What's on TV?' [/]

I said, 'Dust.' [/]

And then the fight started... [/]


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -- [/]


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming Anniversary. [/]

She said, 'I want something [/]

shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds.' [/]

I bought her a scale. [/]

And then the fight started... [/]

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - [/]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social [/]

Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to [/]

verify my age.. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at [/]

home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home [/]

and come back later. [/]


The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my [/]

curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough [/]

for me' and she processed my Social Security application. [/]

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social [/]

Security office. [/]

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too..' [/]

And then the fight started... [/]

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- [/]

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. [/]

I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a [/]

nearby table. [/]

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' [/]

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking [/]

right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been [/]

sober since.' [/]


'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating [/]

that long?' [/]

And then the fight started... [/]

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- [/]

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the [/]

dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. [/]

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a [/]

torrential down pour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into [/]

the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be [/]

bad all day. [/]


I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. [/]

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and [/]

whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' [/]

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my s tupid husband is [/]

out fishing in that?' [/]


And then the fight started ... ;D ;D ;D [/]
 

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I'm thinking a couple of those would start a pretty good fight around here too. :eek: :eek:
 
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