Joined
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511 Posts
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping Channels. She [/]
asked, 'What's on TV?' [/]
I said, 'Dust.' [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -- [/]
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming Anniversary. [/]
She said, 'I want something [/]
shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds.' [/]
I bought her a scale. [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - [/]
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social [/]
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to [/]
verify my age.. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at [/]
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home [/]
and come back later. [/]
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my [/]
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough [/]
for me' and she processed my Social Security application. [/]
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social [/]
Security office. [/]
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too..' [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- [/]
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. [/]
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a [/]
nearby table. [/]
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' [/]
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking [/]
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been [/]
sober since.' [/]
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating [/]
that long?' [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- [/]
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the [/]
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. [/]
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a [/]
torrential down pour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into [/]
the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be [/]
bad all day. [/]
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. [/]
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and [/]
whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' [/]
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my s tupid husband is [/]
out fishing in that?' [/]
And then the fight started ... ;D ;D ;D [/]
asked, 'What's on TV?' [/]
I said, 'Dust.' [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -- [/]
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming Anniversary. [/]
She said, 'I want something [/]
shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds.' [/]
I bought her a scale. [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - [/]
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social [/]
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to [/]
verify my age.. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at [/]
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home [/]
and come back later. [/]
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my [/]
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough [/]
for me' and she processed my Social Security application. [/]
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social [/]
Security office. [/]
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too..' [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- [/]
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. [/]
I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a [/]
nearby table. [/]
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' [/]
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking [/]
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been [/]
sober since.' [/]
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating [/]
that long?' [/]
And then the fight started... [/]
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- [/]
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the [/]
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. [/]
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a [/]
torrential down pour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into [/]
the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be [/]
bad all day. [/]
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. [/]
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and [/]
whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' [/]
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my s tupid husband is [/]
out fishing in that?' [/]
And then the fight started ... ;D ;D ;D [/]
