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A cowboy was riding through indian territory and was captured by some braves. They took him to their camp and told him that they were going to torture him for 3 days then kill him. The chief told him he could have 1 wish each day before his death. The first day he said "I want to talk to my horse". They brought him his horse and he whispered in its ear. The horse took off running and returned a little later with a beautiful blonde. The next morning the chief asked him what his wish for today was. He said "I want to talk to my horse". Once again they led his horse to him, he whispered in it's ear and away he ran. A hour later the horse returned with the most stunning red head. On the third day, they day he was to die he again asked to talk to his horse. When they led his horse to him he said " I said posse, P O S S E, posse.

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A son tells his father: “I have an imaginary girlfriend.”
The father sighs and says: “You know, you could do better.”
Son: “Thanks Dad!”
Father: “I was talking to your girlfriend.”
 

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It was my first time visiting Dr. Putz for a colonoscopy.
I went into his office for my very first rectal exam.
His new nurse, Ethel, took me to an examining room.
She told me to get undressed and have a seat until the
doctor could see me. She said that he would only be
a few minutes.

After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.
While waiting I observed there were three items on a
stand next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer.

When Dr. Putz finally came in I said:
"Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam.
I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for,
but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"

At that, Doctor Putz became noticeably outraged and
stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and
yelled to his new nurse:


"Damn it, Ethel! I said a BUTT light."
 

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I thought about doing this.
 
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